The Really Small Things That Say a Lot about You..

4 min readNov 18, 2020

Ever been asked to say a few things about yourself? Perhaps you said you’re a good communicator, attentive to details, or a team player. The point being, we all define ourselves in a certain way.

Here’s the paradox, though; It’s not what you say that is an accurate representation of who you are, but rather what you show yourself to be. That’s how people judge you. They respond to the image you project. As such, it’s critical to focus on what you do rather than what you say.

If you want to sell yourself to the world in an authentic way, focus on these four really small things because they say a lot about you. This way, you’re guaranteed to make a lasting impression and command respect from people.

I used to be terrible at this. I’d always underestimate the amount of time I had to arrive to meet a friend or an appointment. I’d end up rushing like a headless chicken only to show up full of embarrassment with beads of sweat on my forehead.

It took a while to learn the value of keeping time. Eventually, I got better at it. There’s a lot to be said about people who don’t keep time. It screams inefficiency, unreliability, and disorganization. A person who is always late doesn’t do a very good job of managing their responsibilities and their overall lives.

Failing to keep time is terrible, but it’s worse when other people are involved. You see, when you’re consistently late for meetings, it shows you don’t respect others. Because you put your needs before them, steal their time, and disturb their experience.

Over time, it can strain your relationships because they can’t depend on you to keep your word. They stop taking you seriously. On the other hand, when you agree to meet someone, and you’re there on time –a few minutes earlier is worth bonus points — that person will respect you.

It might seem like a small act, but it signals self- respect, discipline, and integrity. When you’re tardy, though? Sadly, no one will want to hang around you because you can’t be trusted to keep your word. Being late is essentially breaking a promise.

If you want to keep time and avoid the overwhelm that comes from rushing all the time, overestimate the time required to arrive at a meeting. For example, leave home 15 minutes earlier.

2. How you engage in a conversation.

A conversation is the most basic way of human interaction — one that speaks volumes about us. Here’s why; when you talk to someone, they pick up on your tone of voice and the contents of the conversation. And whatever they pick up on makes them know who you really are.

But there’s one vital element of conversations we normally overlook — asking questions. Asking questions can improve the quality and engagement of your discussions in a big way. According to the American psychological association;

“People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners. When people are instructed to ask more questions, they are perceived as higher in responsiveness, an interpersonal construct that captures listening, understanding, validation, and care.”

This means you should ask more questions. Often you think you’ll come across as being offensive but in fact, if you want the other person to be relaxed and to open up more, ask more questions.

I found this to be true in my previous job. The more questions I asked my passengers, the more information they divulged. This is normal. People love talking about themselves. It’s just how we’re wired.

Also, next time you’re having a conversation, ask yourself, “How am I listening?” Rather than listening while formulating a response in your mind, focus on the words coming out of the other person’s mouth.

Be genuinely present, give them your full undivided attention. Put away your phone, don’t yawn or get distracted.

The Really Small Things That Say a Lot about You..

2. How you engage in a conversation.

Written by Kama Sutra